4 Simple Ways to Fix the “What’s Wrong With Me” Mentality

March 2, 2015

what's wrong with me

What’s wrong with me? It’s a question that is asked all too often, especially when things aren’t going the way you want them to go. Perhaps you’ve gone through some bad relationships (or you haven’t had any). Maybe your health is failing you or you are having difficulty losing weight. Maybe you are working yourself into the ground and your bank account is shrinking instead of growing.

Any time things aren’t working, it’s easy to question yourself. However, I am here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, there are so many things right with you. It’s a matter of learning from any mistakes you make, and focusing on your best qualities and allowing them to shine through.

If you are looking for ways to fix what you believe is wrong with you, I share several in this article How to Fix What’s Wrong With You. These guidelines have helped me end my pity parties and focus my mind on things that will empower me instead of bring me down. I know they can work for you too. Enjoy the blessings 🙂


A Positive Way to Pursuade Others

July 31, 2014

If only they would see it from my point of view. Have you every thought or said this? It’s frustrating when you are trying to get others to see your point, follow your expectations, or you are simply unable to persuade someone to take a certain course of action.

Some people do have the power of persuasion. It seems no matter who, and no matter what the circumstance, these people can persuade others easily, and they often do it without resentment. You may think…if only I can do the same!

I share this because I was recently reminded of a subtle, yet powerful way to persuade others. It originates from the days of Socrates, and it is described by Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

What’s the secret formula? It is simply the ability to get the other person to say YES! It makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, yes is the most positive word in the English language. Your job is to get the other person to say yes as many times as possible. You accomplish this by asking questions that you know will bring a yes answer.

I began practicing this idea years ago, and I can tell you that it works wonders. As a teacher, I can tell you that it works very well in the classroom.  In order to persuade my students to follow my classroom expectations I have several options…I can drill them into their heads, I can bring negative behaviors to their attention every time, or I can use this method. Instead of nagging about what they’ve done wrong, I address it a different way. For example…”don’t you think it would be easier for you to get good grades when you remain focused in the classroom? “Do you want to stay out of the detention room?” “Do you think other students will be more respectful to you if you are nicer to them?” These are just a few examples. Which one of the methods above works the best? I think even on an 8th grade level the answer is obvious. It’s a softer approach, yet the message gets through loud and clear. I am addressing, yet avoiding focus on the negative. And the best part is that the other person is making up their own mind instead of me telling them what’s right.

I use it in my personal relationships as well. If I am having a disagreement with my wife, I can either throw my opinion at her and claim adamantly that I am right, or I can ask questions to try to get yes answers. Even if she still doesn’t agree, I’ve kept the peace, and at least I have her thinking about my point of view instead of completely turning her off to it. The same is true when I try to teach my own daughters life lessons. Two of the three are teens, and the other one is close. I’m not going to get anywhere with them if I criticize or simply state what’s right and what’s not. If I can get them to answer yes to my questions, I am again leaving it up to them to consider the positives of my expectations or point of view. I am much more likely to persuade them this way.

I recommend this approach the next time you need to convince someone of something. I am not talking about controlling people here. I am simply sharing an effective, peaceful, and powerful way to help others see your point of view and persuade them (not force them) to a particular course of action. Perhaps you are a parent trying to persuade your child to make a right decision. Perhaps you are a leader at work trying to motivate an employee. Or maybe you are simply trying to end a debate peacefully and productively. Whatever it is, I believe this concept will help you accomplish it. This is because the other person will be more open and accepting to what you are saying, they are making up their own mind, and even if you don’t fully persuade them, you will still most likely gain their agreement and maintain their respect.

So what do you think? Is this something that would make your life better?

 


A Selfish Way To Positively Impact Many People

July 20, 2013

If you are like me, you have a sincere desire to positively impact those around you.  I am constantly trying to find ways to better serve others and bring people to a higher level. In fact, that’s the main reason for this blog!

I once read a very interesting fact in a Wayne Dyer book (I’ve actually read many interesting facts in his books). It said that when we are in a high emotional state, we can impact many people because of it. This is not only true for those around us, but it says this high energy you create can impact many beyond people your realm. He also says that if your energy is negative, it can have negative effects. He jokes to watch your energy level because you could be potentially depressing someone in Bulgaria(or whatever far away place) right now.

At first, I questioned how this could be true. However, I went with it because I know the importance of maintaining a positive, high energy emotional field. However, as I’ve learned more, I realize the potential we have to impact many.

I have learned a great deal lately about the power of connection. In fact, I recently wrote an article about it that you can check out here..https://powerofpies.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/a-connection-to-an-old-commercial/ 

How does this power of connection help you impact people? This principle states that you are connected to everything and everybody in this universe. This is because the Godly spirit that is a part of you is a part of everything else.

Ok, so how can I take advantage of this connection to positively impact those around me. you ask? My answer may seem very ironic at first. However, once you read the explanation, I believe the light will go on for you as it did for me. In order to impact the most people, you need to…pay strict attention and focus on giving the absolute best to….YOU!

Have I lost you yet? How can focusing on the supreme best for you help others? Again, it’s all in the principle of connection. You are connected to everything. When you enhance the good for you and take yourself to the absolute highest positive energy level, you are automatically doing it for everyone else. Since you are connected to everyone else on this planet, when you shine your own light brighter, you are literally shining the spiritual light of everyone else. You are adding energy to the universal light if you will.

This can enhance your life in other ways too. For example, if you want to “add light” to your bank account, just increase your positive vibration when you think about money. Know that you are connected to every single dollar in the universe. When you increase your own positive vibration about money, you are in turn increasing the positive vibration for all money as a whole. As a result, you attract more to yourself. I believe this is one of the big reasons that the world’s economic situation is as difficult as it is. There are so many individual minds thinking negatively about money that it impacts the negative energy about money itself as a whole.

Remember that you are connected to everything and everybody in this universe. Which part of that connection do you have total control of? That would be you. I remind you again that when you maximize the positivity and greatness of your part of that connection (which you automatically have in the Spirit of God that is part of you), you maximize the qualities of the connection as a whole. In this case, it’s OK to be selfish because in your “selfish” act of making yourself better, you are automatically taking everyone and everything else with you. Hopefully that’s a great idea you can connect with. Enjoy the blessings : )


A Connection To An Old Commercial

July 16, 2013

I don’t know about you, but for some reason I have a fascination with TV commercials. I enjoy watching some of them today, and have fond memories of commercials of the past.

As I was doing some reading the other day, an old commercial was brought to mind. It’s an AT&T commercial from a while back where the theme is that “we’re all connected”. Makes sense for a phone company, right?

It brings me to the theme of my message for today. It’s about…you guessed it…connection. Don’t get me wrong, I like the theme of the commercial. Their phone service certainly makes it possible to connect with people and places. However,  that’s not exactly what I want to talk about today.

I would like to remind you that you are already connected to everybody and everything. How? It’s simply your Creator. Think about it. The spirit of God is a part of you. This same spirit is a part of everyone else. We are all part of it, meaning we are all connected in that way. A good visual of this is provided at our Christmas Eve church service each year. There is a giant candle at the front of the church. Each individual has their own candle that they light from that big one. As a result, each one of shines our individual light brightly, but the source of the light is from the “original”

It’s the same for you and me. We each have that spiritual light shining through us that comes from the same source. Do you ever wonder one of the reasons we are supposed to love our neighbor as ourselves? In essence, when you love and respect someone else, you are loving and respecting part of yourself!

The same is true for the material things and situations we are seeking. The same God that created you also created the money, house, job, car, talent, or whatever it is you are seeking. Your goals and desires are already a part of you because it originates from the same energy you are made of.

How can this information help you? When you know you are separate from no one and nothing and you focus on the fact that you are one with the people and things around you, it doesn’t seem so far away or unattainable, does it? For example, let’s say you are seeking more money. You and money are created by the same Creator. You both have the same energy. You are connected. All you have to do is believe it, and you begin the process of manifesting it to you. You will then be inspired with the action to take to allow it to manifest in reality.

When you realize this concept of connection, your relationships with others flow much more smoothly. Once again, when you love and respect other people, you are doing it to yourself because you are made of the same spiritual essence. I believe that’s one of the reasons your relationships suffer when you don’t love yourself. It’s because you are not respecting the same spirit that is also a part of everyone else.

I know that I feel a greater love and respect for those around me when I focus on this idea of connection. I also have a greater faith in my circumstances because I know that I am not separate from them. It’s already part of me, and it’s just  a matter of manifesting the goal.

I know the same will be true for you too. Focus on this idea that you are connected to everyone and everything. It will really make a difference in you life. I can attest to it. If you will excuse me, my phone is ringing. Remember, we are all connected. Have a wonderful day : )


I Want To Be Like My Dog

June 15, 2013

I am very happy that God made me a human being. We have many more powers and are more taken care of than any other creature on this earth. I wouldn’t want to be anything else.

You may ask…why am I saying I want to be like my dog? There’s one characteristic my dog and most others have that many humans have difficulty accomplishing. That trait…unconditional love. When I come home from work or from being out for a while, my dog comes running to the door with a warm, enthusiastic greeting. It doesn’t matter if she’s tired. It doesn’t matter if she had a rough day. It doesn’t matter if I scolded here the day before, or did not provide a great deal of attention. Regardless, the dog comes running and shows me all the love she can.

I challenge myself and anyone reading to demonstrate the same unconditional love as dogs do. Whether it’s been a rough day, or you’re in a bad mood, or the bank account is low, or someone criticized you, or whatever is bringing you down. Do all you can to love others unconditionally, and with the same sincerity and enthusiasm as a dog that’s happy to see you.

When you demonstrate this type of love, two great things happen. One is that you are more at peace with yourself. After all, we are created to love, and we are commanded by God to do so. The second thing is that when you demonstrate sincere, unconditional love to others, it comes back to you multiplied. It’s no wonder people love dogs so much. You will be loved and adored as well.

Who can you love unconditionally today? Find as many people as you can, and show the same love and enthusiasm towards those people as you can. You and they will be blessed in a major way. I ask that you now excuse me. I need to go pet my dog. Have a wonderful day : )


How To Be A Great Conversationalist

May 29, 2013

There are several people I know that I consider to be great conversationalists. People seem drawn to them and they are never short on people to talk to. Many people would be honored to be called a great conversationalist. I have had people tell me they enjoyed conversations with me, and I cherish that feeling.

You may ask, is there a simple formula to be or become someone people want to talk to? Can you become one of the people I mentioned above, where people crave your company? I believe anyone can be a great conversationalist. In fact, it’s so simple to do, I can provide one word of advice. Are you ready?…..

The simple key is to….LISTEN!!! The best conversationalists are those that listen well and let the other person do most of the talking. The fact is, every human being thinks what they have to say is important. If you’re the one who lets them say it, and demonstrate sincere interest in what they are saying, you will have a friend for life. Those people will continuously seek your company. I’ve seen it with other people, as well as myself. I’ve had conversations where I did very little talking, and listened intently on what the other person had to say. I was told how much they enjoyed talking to me, and how they couldn’t wait to do it again. I barely said a word!

I will say it again. People cherish the opportunity to express themselves and say things they believe to be important. They also long for anyone who is willing to listen and appreciate them. When you listen well and allow people the opportunity to express themselves, you won’t have to say anything. People will automatically seek your company, and you will never be short of friends.

This philosophy works extremely well in business as well. For years I worked as a customer service supervisor, handling complaints from angry customers. In almost all cases, the situation was resolved much easier when, instead of preaching our company’s policies, I listened and let the customer express their frustrations and concerns. They appreciated that opportunity, and were much more workable for a mutual solution.

I challenge you to monitor your conversations today. Let the other person do most of the talking. Listen intently, demonstrate sincere interest, and encourage them to talk even more. I can almost guarantee they will think very highly of you, and will tell you and others how much they enjoy your company.

I think it’s time for me to practice what I preach. I’m doing too much of the talking here, so I turn it over to you. Please share your valuable opinions. I am listening intently!


Two Ways To Improve Your Relationships

April 23, 2013

One of the great means of peace while living on this earth is pleasant relationships. It’s not always easy. It is wonderful that God has blessed us with different personalities, gifts, and points of view. However, because of these differences, it is sometimes difficult to live in harmony.

I was doing some reading today about mind focus, and as I reflected, I was lead to two simple ways to enhance and improve any relationship.

Before I share, I will say that one word can make all the difference. That word is focus. Here’s how:

1. Focus on your best self. At this point you may ask, “aren’t we supposed to focus on the other person’s needs to help the relationship grow?” I will answer yes. However, you cannot give to someone else unless you are aware of your own positive qualities and strong points. When you focus on your own goodness, beauty, and talents you will feel like you have more to give away. Also, the more you love yourself for who you are, the more you will love others for who they are.

2. Focus on the best in others. It is so easy to focus on the faults of others, and the things they do that we don’t like. We all do it at some point, no matter how hard we try not to. The problem is that the more you dwell on the negative traits of others, the more likely you are to see them continuously. The good news is that the opposite is true. When you focus on the beautiful, positive qualities of others, you tend to see those qualities more often. You enjoy their company more. Even if they still do some of those things you don’t like, you are more likely to look past them and not allow them to bother you like they did before.

If you can focus on these two simple ideas, you will immediately see positive changes in your relationships that may be difficult. I have seen it in my own life. The relationship between my wife and I is still far from perfect. However, it is much better than it was simply because both of us decided to focus on being the best people we could be, and trying to focus on the positive qualities of the other. We still communicate any differences, but if there are any disagreements, they are handled in a much more cordial manner. Following these simple ideas has taken a great deal of stress off our relationship.

If you are struggling with any relationship today, I challenge you to focus on these simple, easy to do guidelines. It may not instantly take away all negativity, but you will see immediate positive changes. Enjoy the blessings : )