How To Be A Great Conversationalist

There are several people I know that I consider to be great conversationalists. People seem drawn to them and they are never short on people to talk to. Many people would be honored to be called a great conversationalist. I have had people tell me they enjoyed conversations with me, and I cherish that feeling.

You may ask, is there a simple formula to be or become someone people want to talk to? Can you become one of the people I mentioned above, where people crave your company? I believe anyone can be a great conversationalist. In fact, it’s so simple to do, I can provide one word of advice. Are you ready?…..

The simple key is to….LISTEN!!! The best conversationalists are those that listen well and let the other person do most of the talking. The fact is, every human being thinks what they have to say is important. If you’re the one who lets them say it, and demonstrate sincere interest in what they are saying, you will have a friend for life. Those people will continuously seek your company. I’ve seen it with other people, as well as myself. I’ve had conversations where I did very little talking, and listened intently on what the other person had to say. I was told how much they enjoyed talking to me, and how they couldn’t wait to do it again. I barely said a word!

I will say it again. People cherish the opportunity to express themselves and say things they believe to be important. They also long for anyone who is willing to listen and appreciate them. When you listen well and allow people the opportunity to express themselves, you won’t have to say anything. People will automatically seek your company, and you will never be short of friends.

This philosophy works extremely well in business as well. For years I worked as a customer service supervisor, handling complaints from angry customers. In almost all cases, the situation was resolved much easier when, instead of preaching our company’s policies, I listened and let the customer express their frustrations and concerns. They appreciated that opportunity, and were much more workable for a mutual solution.

I challenge you to monitor your conversations today. Let the other person do most of the talking. Listen intently, demonstrate sincere interest, and encourage them to talk even more. I can almost guarantee they will think very highly of you, and will tell you and others how much they enjoy your company.

I think it’s time for me to practice what I preach. I’m doing too much of the talking here, so I turn it over to you. Please share your valuable opinions. I am listening intently!

What Has He Done?

Ah, the beauty of blogging : ) I say that because what I’m about to write here today has nothing to do what I originally intended. It’s happened before, and it’s one of the quirks of writing that fascinates me.

As far as my intended topic today, that will have to wait. Instead, I write about something I read about twice in today’s Bible reading. Usually, that means God is trying to tell me something. Since He told it to me, I will share with you.

The first reading is from Deuteronomy. Moses is about to die, and he is giving a farewell address to the people. In this address, He reminds the people of all the great things God has done for them and all of the miracles they’ve witnessed. I then read Psalm 78. The message was the same! It was a reminder of the great things God has done for the people up until that time. I will say that I did not purposely read these verses. It just so happens that they were scheduled for today on the one year Bible plan I am using. Coincidence, however? I don’t think so.

This caused me to reflect on my life today. In one sense I have a very happy life. In another sense, I am far short of some of my goals, and I seek greater things. I may be getting a bit personal here, but it definitely helps communicate my point. I take the 6 main areas of my life and what I am shooting for:

1. God – As good as it is, my faith can certainly be better.
2. Family – I am still not the family leader I believe I could be.
3. Money – I am still far from the goals I have set.
4. Career – My dream is to touch thousands of lives a day by writing from home or traveling to speak and motivate others. Not there yet.
5. Health – I want to be in better shape and have more energy.
6. Friends/Extended Relatives – I strive to be a better friend and relative.

Am I complaining about the things I mentioned above? Not really. I’m just saying I am striving for great things. However, as I thought about this today, here is what I was reminded of:

1. God – Jesus died for me, and God is extremely proud of this creation. I am special and worthy in His eyes.
2. Family – I have been blessed with the most wonderful family. Better than I could have ever asked for.
3. Money – I have a house, two cars, computers, smart phones, readily available food and clothing. That means I’m richer than 90% of the rest of the world.
4. Career – Although politics have ruined it, and I strive for greater things, my dream job was to be a teacher. I am in my 10th year teaching, and I write this on my Spring break.
5. Health – I look and feel better than I should for someone my age. Also, I have never had any major injuries or sickness in these first 46 years. Neither has anyone else in my immediate family.
6. I am blessed with the most wonderful relatives and friends.

I don’t say this to brag by any means. I haven’t done anything to deserve it, and they are all gifts from above. I say it as a reminder based on what I read today. Let us look back on our lives and realize how much God has done for us. Let us remember the miracles He has already done as we seek greater ones. Even if your life has been difficult, there are things I’m sure you can find that are blessings.

One final thought is this…it has been proven to me that the more thankful we are for what we have and the more we reflect on what God has already done, the more the blessings continue to pour into our lives. I challenge you to reflect on the miracles you have seen in your life, and the great places you’ve been, whether you can count them on one hand, or you have a long list. Focus on them and be thankful for them. If you do, you can expect more to come. Enjoy!

The Gratitude Chain

I am a firm believer in the snowball effect. For example, a person does a good deed for someone, then the recipient does something for someone else, and so on. The result is that the lives of many are blessed in a major way.

During the past few weeks, I have felt the desire to spend my life in constant gratitude for the blessings in my life. I have always been thankful, but I am really focusing on being thankful for even the smallest things, like the air that I breath, the clean water I drink, the heated home that keeps me warm, etc. It has really helped me appreciate my life more, and has brought me even closer to God. Also, many little things that would bother me (someone driving way under the speed limit in front of me) barely even come to mind.

I am trying to spread this attitide of gratitude as far as I can. On a daily basis, my family and I write down the things we are most grateful for and reflect on them. I have shared this with other people close to me as well. However, I want to take it further. I asked God how I could do it, and this idea came to mind..

I would like to start a gratitude chain. I will start by sharing 5 things I am very thankful for. I will also ask for your input. If you have a few extra seconds, please share your top 5 thankful list here, and I will pray for you that each one continues and multiplies. I also challenge you to start your own list and get as many people as you can to share their gratitude list. Let’s see how far we can take this : )

Here’s my top 5 list:

1. I am thankful for God for His love, protection, blessing, grace, and everything!
2. I am thankful for the great parents and siblings I have, my wife and kids, and my extended family.
3. I am thankful for great health.
4. I am thankful for my job…the one I have and the dream job He is providing.
5. I am thankful for my house, cars, and all of my material possessions.

When people pay good deeds forward, many are blessed, and if people did it consistently, it can literally change the world. I have read in several places that, even when one person changes from a negative to postiive state of mind, it has a major ripple effect, and can change the world around them. The same is true for feeling gratitude. Not only will people feel better about themselves, but it will have a snowball effect on the world around them, and make a major turn to the positive. My sincere prayer is that God makes it happen today. I appreciate your participation and pray for major blessings for you as result. I look forward to seeing what you are thankful for!

How To Create More Problems In Your Life

I was discussing the concept of reverse psychology with someone the other day. It’s funny that it especially works with kids. You know, when you purposely tell them to do one thing when you want them to do another. For example, when you say “don’t smile”, and actually get them to smile.

I figured I would try to use reverse psychology on this blog today. The above title goes against something I would usually write about. My goal is positivity and to assist myself and others avoid problems instead of creating them. We’ll see if it works  in getting your attention and the point of what I have to say today : )

The sad thing is that most people create their own problems in life. Yes, I know some good people get bad breaks and situations they totally don’t deserve. However, what most people don’t realize is that they create many of their own problems, and continue to make them worse. Some do this in a completely unconscious manner.

What is one way you or anyone else can create more problems in life? Drum roll please…the best way to add more problems to life is to complain. We all do it. Unfortunately when you do, it just adds fuel to the fire.

I often share about the power of the mind, and that we receive what we think about. When you complain, you are thinking about the problem and focusing on it whether you relaize it or not. The result is that you receive and experience more of the problem. Is your boss making things difficult for you at work? Gossiping about it to the other employees will only make it worse. That’s because it is what you are focusing on. Lamenting that your bank account balance is too low? Once again, the continuous focus on it will only bring more red instead of black. Sharing about how your spouse or partner is getting on your nerves? I don’t think I have to say it again. Hopefully you are figuring out that complaining only makes a bad situation worse because you are focusing your thoughts on that negative situation.

How do we reverse the negative trend? Simply focus on the solution. Instead of communicating about the negative situation in your life, think and talk about the positive that it will create. For example, if the problem is at work, focus on the fact that this will motivate you to do better work or the new, better job you will find as a result. If money is the issue, think about having a fat bank account and focus your efforts and actions on making it happen. If you are having relationship difficulties, think about all of the positive traits of that person, and picture the relationship you want to have. Then act towards that positive goal.

I conclude with the reminder that we receive what we focus our thoughts on. When you complain, you are placing your focus on the negative situation, thus creating more of it. When you focus on the solution or the ultimate goal, your action will coincide, thus moving you away from the negative, and towards the desired outcome. That is certainly not something to complain about : ) Have an excellent day!

Two Magic Words For Success

There are certain phrases that get my attention and I find to be amusing. One such phrase is…”as if”. I especially find it funny when someone doesn’t believe what they are being told. The “as if” is equivelant to “yeah right”.

As I learn more about maintaining a right mind and creating our own success, I realize more and more the importance of living with the “as if” mentality. What’s your goal? What do you want most in life? One of the key ways to reach the goal and live the life you want to live is to act “as if” you actually have what you desire.

This philosophy can be used in all areas of life. Do you want to make a major impression at the job? Work and act as if you are already there. How would you work if you were recognized as a top employee? Seeking the ideal partner? How would you act as if he or she were with you right now? Seeking more money? What would you be doing if you had it? Spend time mentally focusing on the answers to these questions. Then act accordingly.

I’ve been especially focusing on the “as if” and I already see the impacts. There are things I’ve held back doing because I was waiting until I had the money, the energy, or the time. Shifting my thinking, I acted as if I already had those things. The result has been greater confidence and greater positivity. It has also positively impacted some other people around me due to the extra time I was able to give.

The key is not to spend money that you don’t have, or wear yourself thin by doing too much. Instead, it is feeling, as often as possible, “as if” you are already living the life you desire, and doing things as if this was the case. It’s a matter of using the Law of Attraction naturally to create the ideal life. This is because, according to the Law, the more you feel like you are living the life you desire, you already have what you want, and feel the corresponding positive emotions, the more likely and the more quickly you will see it manifest in your life.

Use these magic words as a guide to help create the life you are seeking. Live as if you already have what you want. Feel the corresponding emotions, and take the corresponding actions. Before long it will be natural, and your life will be at the higher level you desire. Instead of saying “as if” you will be saying “it’s real”. Enjoy the blessings : )

The Power of Mental Clarity

What is one of the best ways to live the best life possible? The most common answer I am always given is….know EXACTLY what you want to accomplish.

It’s a simple guideline, yet many people do not focus on a clear goal. Some people want more money. Others want to lose weight. Others want the ideal job or relationship.

It is ok to want those things. I think everyone wants all of those things at some point. The key is to be as specific as possible. For example, instead of more money, you instead focus on a specific dollar amount. For example, you say “I want to make $100,000 in 2012”. Instead of just losing weight, say “I want to lose 30 pounds in the next 6 months”. With anything we are seeking in life, we must be as specific as possible with exactly what we want.

Why is this necessary? When our mind is focused on something specific, our subconscious gets a hold of it, and we are directed towards it whether we realize it or not. This is not possible with a non specific goal. I also believe in the power of prayer. When we pray for specific scenarios, I believe it helps develop the necessary faith to accomplish the task, and we will see God’s work in it. It also makes it easier for us to play our part because any action we take is made easier because it is focused on the desired result, ultimately getting us there sooner.

The bottom line is we need to be clear and specific with the outcomes we are seeking. I found an article that explains this in greater detail, especially how the subconscious mind takes a hold of specific requests. I will provide a link to that article. In the meantime, don’t just hope for a great day. Think of exactly what would make it great, let your mind take hold of it, and take the steps to get there. Enjoy the blessings : )

http://www.mindpower-info.com/?p=5971

Is It Right To Live For Today?

You’ve heard the phrase “live for today” many times. This phrase has always created controversy. Why? Because living for today is often associated with disregard for the future. There are many that live their lives this way. They live their lives recklessly with no concern about how their actions will affect their future. We see the negative results, and draw the conclusion that it is wrong to live for today.

There is also the opposite extreme. Many people don’t enjoy the present day because they are too worried about what the future may bring. They miss out on so much in life because their fear of the future prevents them from taking present day steps towards their goals and the life they want to live.

So what’s the answer to the article’s title? I believe it’s a matter of combining the information presented so far. I strongly believe we DO need to live in a present moment mentality….with an eye on, but not fearing the future. Why it is important to live in the present moment? Because the present moment is all we have. The past is gone forever. So many times we don’t move ahead because we are still caught up in the mistakes of our past. We need to learn from those mistakes, but we cannot spend our present days living in the past. As mentioned, we must spend some time planning for our future, but we cannot fail to act in the present because we are worried about something in the future. Just as we can’t live in the past, we also cannot live in the future. Jesus Himself stressed that we are to avoid worrying about the future. In Matthew 6:34 He says..do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

The bottom line is that the present is the only time where you have complete control of the outcome. Can we change the past? Sorry, but that’s a no. Are we in the future yet? Not unless we are talking about the past, and again, we can’t live in the past. We have full control of the present. And here’s a great thought. The more you take advantage of your present day opportunities, the better your future will be! So spend time perfecting your relationships; going after your dream job; taking care of your health; and doing anything that will help you get to the person you want to be and life you want to have.

 I will conclude by saying again that, as long as we don’t completely disregard our future, it is right, and I believe necessary to live for today. If we do all we can possibly do each day to be a better person, to serve others, and to make this world a better place, we will find life more rewarding than ever before. We will enjoy the present moments to the fullest, and we will have no reason to fear our future. That’s the type of life I want to experience. Enjoy the blessings : )

Powerful Self-Talk

It’s a beautiful day Joe, isn’t it. Yes, it’s an incredible blessing and…

Oops! I admit it. You caught me talking to myself again. Come on, admit it. You do it too. I would guess that many of us spend some time talking to ourselves.

My philosophy is, as long as we are going to talk to ourself, let us tell ourselves great things. We are incredible beings. We all have many positive attributes and plenty of great quality to offer to those around us. It is important that we remind ourselves of this fact. We need to spend time each day reminding ourselves of these positive qualities. Repeat to yourself how healthy you are; how good of a worker you are; how good of a friend you are; how successful you are. Simply tell yourself whatever you want to hear.

The fact is that your mind believes what it hears. Unfortunately, many people have low self-esteem because they’ve listened to  the negative things people have told them. For example, they’ve been told that they are not smart enough or good enough. As a result, they start believing it and living it out. The same is true for the positives. A young person may not believe he is a good artist, athlete, student, or whatever, but if enough people tell him that he is, he will eventually believe it, and his talents will flourish. It is also true that the mind does not consider where the information comes from. It doesn’t matter if it comes from someone else or from ourself. If it hears something enough, it believes it. We can control this by feeding our mind with positive information. If I tell myself that I am healthy and attractive, I will believe it and act accordingly. If I tell myself I am an excellent teacher, I will believe it, and my performance will reflect this faith. If I tell myself I am an excellent husband and father, I will believe it, and my mind will force my actions to back it up. That’s simply how the subconscious mind works.

Remember that the mind believes what it hears on a continuous basis. Knowing this, and the fact that we all talk to ourselves anyway, let us tell ourselves great things. As a result, we will live our lives with more confidence and joy, and we can effectively assist and positively impact those around us. Talk to yourself in a positive way. Your mind will listen and lead you to greatness. Enjoy the blessings : )

How To Be In Demand

Are you ready to re-live an elementary school moment? For some of you this might be a pleasant memory, for others it may not. It’s about choosing sides. In my day, whether it was kickball, football, or any team sport, there were two captains who chose teams. It was an honor to be chosen first. It felt good to be wanted. Not that I would know, because I would usually be chosen later, almost at the end. That wasn’t such a good feeling as it hurt to know that I wasn’t wanted or needed.

This does not change in the adult world. We feel great when we are in-demand and people want us and our contributions, while we feel hurt, discouraged, and un-wanted when people are not calling on us. The big question is then, is there a way we can control this? If so, what can we do so we are the ones people want to be with, people want to hire, people want to assist them?

The answer to the above question is yes. I’ve read this information in several books and articles lately, and it has become very obvious to me. The key to being a “in-demand” person is to do this…know what people want and show them how to get it. It’s as simple as that. So simple that I will say it again…know what people want and either get them there or show them the way to succeed.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to determine how true this is. Think about it in your own life. If someone can bring you closer to achieving your goals and help your dreams come true, aren’t you attracted to that person? Wouldn’t you want to spend as much time as possible with that person? I see it in many areas of my life. I wanted to feel loved and be happy. I was lucky enough to have parents that were good at that, so I loved to spend time with them. I still do today.

I would like to remind you that you could easily be an in-demand person. You can be someone that many people want to spend time with. Also, if you follow the simple guideline of knowing what people want and showing them how to get it, the level of success you can achieve is without limit. For example, let’s say you are seeking the right job. On your next interview focus less on your achievements, and discuss more how you can help the company reach their goals. Know what those goals are and tell your prospective employers what you can do to help them get there. You will have a major advantage over the other interviewers. You will never be short of friends or signifcant others if you can be a person that can help them realize their life goals.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what people need. What then?You don’t have to do a whole lot. Anyone likes to smile or laugh right? Even a few words to put a smile on someone’s face can do wonders. Don’t you like to be with people who can do that for you? As you get to know people better, then you can better figure out other things that will benefit them and help them there.

This information may seem very simple and easy. Yet it is often un-followed. I can vouch because it has taken me several reminders over a long period of time to help me realize its importance. It is very easy to get caught up in our own lives and think about how things will affect us. As a result, we don’t always think about the needs of others. Since many don’t often take this time, you are at an extreme advantage if you can take the time to help others get to where they want to be. So be the first person picked for the team, job, party, or anything in life. It’s a wonderful feeling you can experience continually. Not only will you be on the team, but you will be a winner as well. Enjoy the blessings : )

Take Action Now!

Are you often guilty of the p-word? You know, procrastination? I would love to tell you that I don’t procrastinate, but lying in a blog is not right, is it?

The key to beating the procrastination habit is to do things right away. There’s no way around it. However, people have often asked, “what exactly do I have to do?” I found a great answer to that question in the book, “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace Wattles. His advice is to form a clear mental picture of what we need to accomplish, and do all we can possibly do each day, doing each separate thing in an efficient manner. He stresses that we should not try to do too much. Once again, he says to do all we can to get closer to the goal, as long as we are giving a full effort and doing things right. He says that, if we can look back at the end of each day and know that we did all we could possibly do, we can call it a success. The more successful days you have, the faster your goal will be reached. This is true, not only for riches, but for relationships, health, career, and every other area of our lives.

I believe if we do two main things, we can be successful in any area of our life. One is to have faith that God will help us reach our goals, as long as it is His will. If it’s not, he’ll lead us someplace even better. The other thing is to do our part. We do that by taking the action mentioned above.

If we have faith and do our part to get to where we want to be (remember, faith without works is dead), nothing can stop us. The key is just to act, and act now. Don’t wait for the perfect time and perfect circumstances. Ecclesiastes 11:4 says, Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. What this tells me is that, if we wait for the perfect time to something it will never get done. In most cases, there is never the perfect time, except for the present moment.

Do you notice how, the more you delay, the more time goes by without something being done, the less likely you are to act, and the opportunity is often lost. The opposite is true when we do act. It becomes easier and easier to do things, as that becomes habit. Also, you will see success as you get closer to your goal’s accomplishment. And as you get closer to the goal, you are inspired by your success to act and get there faster.

I strongly recommend you follow this advice. It is not my advice as I have learned it from several great authors and speakers. However, I will say that when I follow this advice, I see a much greater rate of success in my life, and my goals are accomplished sooner than later. The same is true for you. Don’t be afraid to act. Do all you can today (no less and no more) to bring yourself closer to your goals and dreams. Rely on God’s help and do you part. As a result, you will be blessed abundantly.